“You can’t just erase people. You can’t just erase me.”

“You can’t just erase people. You can’t just erase me.”

I loved this scene from Girls, a fight about cutoff between Jessa and Hannah. The dialog resonated with me a lot about the experience I wrote about in “my dating cutoff ” essay. Ultimately, the most devastating part of that breakup experience¬† was losing the friendship and having my complete trust broken apart cutoff and silence.

“Regardless of everything that happened, you are still my dear friend. I can try and forget about you, it just doesn’t work,” says Jessa. “You can’t just detach yourself from a relationship unless your some kind of… psychopath.”

She continues, “Everything that we did together… happened… whether you want to believe it or not … whether you want to remember it or not. And I am here and I know you. You cant just erase people. You can’t just erase me. It’s not how it works.”

I hope the people who’ve felt supported by my essay will find something healing for them in this dialog. Similarly, I hope the practitioners (and advocates) of unexplained unconditional cutoff will learn something about their motivations and its impact on the their former friends and partners.